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It's time to be free of pain
At least 2 in 1,000 women experience Vaginismus once in their lifetime
...and probably many more who may be too afraid or embarrassed to seek medical attention and help. With a 95% chance of treating the condition, it is time to talk about Vaginismus, shatter the isolation, eliminate the pain.
What is Vaginismus?
"Vaginismus is the term used to describe recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted."
The symptoms include burning or stinging pain upon penetration, as well as intense fear or loss of desire when penetration is attempted.
How does it develop? It is a complex psychosomatic condition, and the causes can be varied, such as painful first intercourse, sexual abuse, fear of pregnancy, or a deeply rooted belief that sex is wrong.
Vaginismus isn't "only" about sex, it's about life. Penetrative sex is not the only thing its victims lose - let's be honest, not all of us prioritize that - but a sense of intimacy or self-worth too. It can painfully interfere with regular gynecological examinations, the use of tampons and period cups, or even childbirth. And if you have no one to talk to and share your experiences, the isolation can be unbearable.Let's fight the stigmas around vaginal sexual health and open up the conversation together
I Have Vaginismus, What Can I Do?
How to conquer the condition
Know you are not alone:
Reliable stats on Vaginismus are difficult to come by and the full picture is difficult to assess because there are many, many more uncounted individuals who suffer in silence. Most
- Approximately 1 in 10 women have experienced painful intercourse in the last six months.
- 2 out of every 1,000 women have at least moderate Vaginismus.
- Approximately 20% who seek help from sexual clinics are experiencing Vaginismus.
- 53% of clinical Vaginismus patients are married.
- Of those experiencing Vaginismus; 53% are between 25 and 35 years old, with 18% younger and 29% older.
Get a diagnosis
The main symptom of Vaginismus is an involuntary and painful tightening of the vagina, which may make penetration difficult or even impossible.
For some, it's absolutely impossible to insert anything into their vagina, whether fingers or tampons. Others may be able to insert a tampon or participate in a gynecological exam, but penetrative sex is not possible. Again others suffering from Vaginismus may be able to experience penetrative sex, but find it painful.
Other symptoms can include:
- a burning or stinging pain when the vagina is penetrated
- intense fear of penetration and pain, which makes you avoid sex
- loss of sexual desire if penetration is attempted
The first step after you've realised you may have Vaginismus, is to seek professional help and confirm the diagnosis with your GP. As the NHS website clarifies, a vaginal examination will be necessary at some point to rule out a physical cause of Vaginismus, such as an injury, infection, or oversensitive nerves at the opening of the vagina (provoked vulvodynia).
Seek treatment
Is it treatable? Yes, it is! Because it’s a condition that involves the head and body, the best thing to do is see a psychotherapist who knows about Vaginismus. All the therapists on the COSRT website will have had specific training in this. We strongly encourage you to seek out help from professionals, as treatment success rates hover around 95% in most clinical trials.
If you have more questions about Vaginismus and would like to read advice from a trained sexual and relationship therapist, please go to the FAQ section just below.
FAQ & Blog
Anonymous advice letters from our mailbox - huge thanks to Sarah Berry, Sex & Relationship Therapist, for her advice.
Read more...Did you know that there is an official Vaginismus Awareness Day? On September 15, 2015, Sh!...Read more...Sex and sexuality isn't talked about in my culture. I come from a strict south-asian...Read more...“Every girl goes through this!” “You just need to relax…” "Come on! Just do it!" ...Read more...In Spring 2017, casually drinking coffee and reading the newspaper alone, I came across an...Read more...So, here we go. I first noticed this problem when in my previous long-term relationship when I...Read more...I was always a little bit behind my friends romantically – my first kiss was a couple years after...Read more...This year, Sh! is marking Vaginismus Awareness Day on September 15th with an online event...Read more...Dear 16 year old Fran, You are going to the Doctors today for the first time about… a...More PostsResources
All things helpful from reading to therapeutic tools and toys. Please be advised that our approach to healing Vaginismus is very sex-positive and as such, this section contains is NSFW parts.
The Vaginismus Network
Break the isolation: Make friends and attend events
A community for people with Vaginismus. Having suffered in silence for many years, the VN team understands how communication, information and understanding can be a great comfort and help in managing and overcoming this condition.
Becoming Orgasmic Pleasure Course
For Women & Vulva-Owners Who Want to Learn More About Their Potential For Pleasure
- Knowledge is power - getting to know yourself
- Builds sexual confidence solo and with a partner
- Improves understanding of self-pleasuring
- Discover different ways to experience pleasure
- Learn how to have orgasms
Sh! Soft Silicone Dilating Kit with Bullet Vibe
Created to help you advance towards pain-free penetration
The kit consists of four soft and smooth silicone shafts of graded sizes, plus a vibrating bullet. Following and aiding therapeutic work, together with appropriate exercises, the Sh! Dilating Kit will help you transition to pain-free penetration.
YES VM
Vaginal Moisturizer
- Organic Gel to supplement natural lubrication
- Hypoallergenic
- Alleviates vaginal dryness and atrophy
- Free from parabens, hormones & glycerine
- PH-balanced ISO-topic formula
Lube & Vibrators
Vibrating sex toys, or vibrators, are wonderful tools for helping to relax tense nerve-endings, and can make 'dilating' a lot more pleasurable.
Vibrators needn’t be big to be effective. Even teeny-tiny finger-tip vibes can be both useful and fun.
Go slow, and always add a generous amount of a lubricant you like the feel of. We recommend water-based lubricants as they are more body friendly. Opting for a paraben-free version lessens the risk of you developing irritation, so always look at the ingredients before making a purchase. Sh! Pure Lube is an excellent choice as it is body-friendly and hypoallergenic.
Finger Tickler Vibrator
Gentle Fingertip Vibe with Soft Textured Pad
- Fingertip vibrator in soft silicone
- Silicone sleeve with soft strands
- Removable single-speed bullet vibrator
- Suitable for newbies
- 3 x LR44 batteries (included)
Mini Ribbed Vibrator
Ribbed Vibrator with Extra-Small Tip
- Smooth silicone vibrator with flexible tip
- Ribbed shaft with teeny-tiny tip
- 7 pleasure modes + 3 powerful speeds to discover
- Waterproof for relaxing play in bath or shower
- Battery-operated
Slender Mini G-spot Vibe
Slim Vibrator for G-spot Exploration
- Slimline vibrator with G-spot seeking tip
- 3 speeds + 7 pleasure patterns to enjoy
- Smooth silicone shaft and tip
- Waterproof for relaxing play in bath or shower
- Battery-operated
Cuties G-spot Vibrator
Longer Handle for Ease of Use
- Slender vibrator with angled G-spot-seeking tip
- Strong vibrations with 5 speeds and 8 modes
- USB rechargeable and waterproof
- Made from smooth silicone
- 1-year guarantee
Skye Slim Rabbit Vibrator
Slim & Super-Flexible Dual Stimulator
- Very slim rabbit vibe: 4.5 inch x 1 inch diameter at widest
- Silicone sex toy, free from phthalates and latex
- Long shaft makes it easier to hold and reach
- 15 modes to explore and enjoy
- Waterproof and USB rechargeable
Ribbed Tapered Vibrator
Non-Threatening Vibrator
- Smaller size sex toy
- Made from body-safe silicone
- Soft, ribbed texture
- Slim tip tapers out
- 10 modes
Discretion Mini Ribbed Vibe
Finger-Size Vibrator
- Shorter vibrator
- 4.45 inch long x 0.83 inch wide
- Firm material
- Quiet vibrations
- Single, medium-strength speed
Rocks-Off Rainbow Prism Vibrator
Rainbow Prism Vibrator
- Long vibe with a tapered tip
- 10 pleasure modes
- Plastic material
- 100% waterproof
- Slim 0.75 Inch diameter with 4.5 inches of insertable length
Callie Silicone Bullet
Finger-Length Vibrator for Shallow Exploration
- Short vibe with tapered tip
- Powerful vibrations
- Matte black silicone
- USB rechargeable
- 3 speeds + 7 patterns to explore
Fun Factory Joupie G-Spot Vibrator
Long & Slim Vibrator
- 6 x 1.25 inches internal vibrator
- Firm shaft with squidgy G-spot tip
- One-speed only
- Strong vibration
- 2 x AA batteries (not included)
Sh! Rabbit Vibrator
Bestselling Rabbit Vibe with Twirling Beads
- Slimline 1.25 inches rabbit with shaft and clitoral stimulator
- Measures approx 2 fingers in girth
- Squishy TPR material
- 3 x AAA batteries (not included)
- 3 speeds + 12 modes
Hand-Poured Sh! Cupid Silicone Dildos
Various Sizes
- Handmade Cupid dildos
- Body-safe silicone
- Available in vibrating versions
- Easy to clean
- Other colours available
Hand-Poured Sh! Wirly Silicone Dildos
Various Sizes
- Handmade Wirly dildos
- Body-safe silicone
- Available in vibrating versions
- Easy to clean
- Other colours avaliable
Sex Toy Cleaner
Spritz On, Rinse Off!
- Spritz on sex toy cleaner
- Vegan, all-natural with 97% organic ingredient
- Antibacterial
- Detergent-free
- Spray, wipe and rinse!
Therapists
Choose a professional who understands your condition!
Sarah Berry
Sex & Relationship Therapist
Having sought therapy for my own sexual difficulties, I have an understanding about how difficult sex and relationship problems can be and how they can impact your life.
Kate Moyle
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I believe in helping people to get to a place where they feel in control
of their bodies again; working towards sexual wellbeing, health and
happiness.
www.katemoyle.co.uk | www.thethoughthouse.co.ukJohn O'Reilley
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I am qualified with a British Association for Sexual & Relationship Therapy and have been working in this area since 2002. I have assisted many women and couples struggling with vaginismus.
Karen Pollock
LGBTQ Councellor
I am a registered member of the BACP, working towards COSRT accreditation and specialising in LGBTQ issues. I offer empathetic, non-judgemental open-minded counselling in Northumberland
Krystal Woodbridge
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I am a member of COSRT and a qualified nurse working in St Albans. I am a registered therapist with Pink Therapy and a former winner of the COSRT post-graduate award for work in psychosexual therapy.
www.woodbridgetherapy.co.uk
Trudy Hannington
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I am a Psychosexual Therapist at the Leger Clinic, in Doncaster, and Chair of The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists, as well as a member of the British Association of Sexual and Relationship Therapy.
Clare Staunton
Sex and Relationship Councellor
I'll work holistically to help you gain a sexual identity where pleasure and consent are at its heart - reducing anxiety around intimacy.
I'm based in West London, contact details below if you'd like to get in touch.
Mike Lousada
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I have been practising as a Psychosexual Somatic® Practitioner in different forms for most of my adult life. My psychotherapeutic influences come from many different schools, and am currently working in London.
www.mikelousada.com/
Carolyn Cowan
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I am Carolyn Cowan, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist who is also a sex addiction therapist & a member of COSRT & ATSAC. You can make appointments to see me in Belgravia, central or south London. I can also work via Skype or FaceTime.
www.sexhelp.org.uk
Kirstie McEwan
Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist
I have undertaken further specialist training with Pink Therapy to work with sexual and gender diversity.I am registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and I am a general member of COSRT, currently working toward accreditation.
www.counsellingwithconfidence.co.uk
Dr Su Yap
Clinical Psychologist and Psycho-sexologist (ESSM/EFS certified)
I work as a Principal Clinical Psychologist in a NHS sexual health clinic, and am an active member of the British Society of Sexual Medicine. I run a successful private practice with individuals and couples I take a holistic view of the person, looking at biological, psychological & social factors that cause sexual problems. I use psychological techniques that scientific research has shown to be effective for sexual problems.
http://mindsurgerylondon.co.uk/
Rima Hawkins
Relationship and Psychosexual Therapist
I am a professionally qualified COSRT accredited, BACP registered therapist with over 20 years of sexual health experience. I have a private practice in Chelsea and Fulham. My main interests are female clients with psychosexual issues and clients who have inter/cross cultural relationship issues. My primary mode of working is Humanistic-Integrative Psychotherapy.
Can't find what you're looking for?
Visit the College of Sex and Relationship Therapist's website for a full list of COSRT therapists in your area. COSRT accreditation is awarded to psychosexual therapists who have met strict criteria in training, experience, knowledge, ethical standards, clinical skills and commitment to continuous professional development; this is audited annually.
Ask us a question or share your story!
We know suffering from vaginismus can be frightening and isolating. We are here to answer your questions and connect you to other women fighting it.
© 2020 Sh! Brands LTD
Are you a journalist, blogger or sex educator wanting to know more, write about vaginismus or help us spread the word? Please do get in touch!
Are you a sexual therapist with extensive experience in vaginismus? We'd love to feature you as well!
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